Submitted by Teresa Belinski as part of the summer educational article series*
You know how some people just know certain things? For example, they just know that they will marry that certain somebody, or they just know that they’ll get that certain job or, mine and every other infertile woman’s favorite, they just know that they are pregnant. Puh-lease. I wouldn’t know if I was pregnant if the stork itself landed on my head and pooped out a positive home pregnancy test. I feel like I should know though, I mean I’ve been at this since 2001. I’m basically an expert when it comes to knowing why my boobs hurt or why I feel nauseous at that moment and I’ve peed on about 5 million sticks since I first started trying to get knocked up. Oh how I wish I could just know that I was pregnant and call it good for the following 9 months.
I, on the other hand, just knew that I would have a hard time conceiving and keeping a baby. My friends all knew they’d be fertile myrtles and I knew I’d be a barren Bessie. They were right, but heck so was I. I tried for almost 2 years without any luck at all. We are all told to wait at least a year before going into the doctor and throwing an “I’m not pregnant YET” fit. What a waste of a year. You could’ve been pregnant 11 months ago! How is it that everyone else around you gets pregnant the second they start to “try,” yet it’s taken you some actual time? It’s because 9 times out of 10, there is something wrong. So fudge the truth a little and tell your doctor that heck, yes, you’ve been trying for a year. The reason I say this is because I went in, got an endometrial biopsy, and was immediately diagnosed with a luteal phase defect. I was put on 50mg of Clomid and BAM! conceived my now 5 year old twins the very next month. I now know that if I would’ve have been more aware of my body and had learned more about how things worked (or didn’t work in my case) I could have diagnosed myself without going through the pain of a biopsy. Hindsight is always 20/20.
My doctor told me that the chances of me ever conceiving on my own were slim to none and if I ever did I would definitely miscarry. Wow, thanks ovaries and uterus. I thought nothing more of it because I had my little perfect boy and little perfect girl. I didn’t need any more.
I didn’t count on getting a divorce and then remarrying somebody that didn’t have kids of their own and wanted one or two. I was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, foolishly thinking that another round of Clomid would do the trick as soon as I was ready. The thing is I got pregnant on my very own and almost keeled over from complete shock. Before you begin hating me though for not truly being infertile, please remember what my doctor had said. I miscarried at 6 weeks and 2 days. It was the most devastating time of my life and still affects me greatly. Apparently we all need a little hormone called progesterone to make a pregnancy work. I lack that hormone greatly and my doctor got me all jumbled up in “the system” because of my name change. Long story there, but the quick moral is making your doctor do their job or you could regret it literally for the rest of your life.
Here I sit, almost a year since my miscarriage, wondering what it’s gonna take this time to get pregnant. I rock a huge sailor heart tattoo on my left arm with all 3 of my kid’s names and I’ve been on 3 rounds of Clomid since miscarrying. My husband has been diagnosed with only 8% morphology. Not good. Out of all the people in the entire world, these two infertiles were drawn to each other. I visited a reproductive endocrinologist and got the whole spiel of doing 3 IUI’s and 3 more rounds of Clomid and if those didn’t work we’d move onto IVF. Nothing I didn’t already know. Maybe you can relate when I say, we definitely don’t roll around in money and laugh because our bank account is blowin up.
So I opted for a more natural method. Everybody is going more natural these days; it’s the cool thing to do right? I just recently started Creighton charting. It’s a fairly unknown system that definitely should be well known. They combine detailed fertility charting with Natural Procreative Technology to diagnose and actually treat infertility. Yes I said treat. It’s their belief and now mine that most doctors are just trained to mask our infertility with things like in vitro fertilization and that infertility is a disease as real as any other disease out there. The use of Creighton and NaPro technology in infertile couples has shown up to an 80% success rate. The use of IVF in infertile couples has only shown a 21-27% success rate. Did your jaw just drop wide open? Creighton teaches you how to recognize your fertility or lack there of. I literally never, ever thought I got any kind of cervical mucus before I started this. I thought I was a mutant of some sorts because my friends were boasting about their 6 inch strings of boogers they’d get once a month. I now know what they are talking about and have made up a cool little “I have cervical mucus” dance. It’s thrilling to know that my body is working in at least one area. My Creighton doctor will do a complete hormone workup after I get a good solid 2 months of charting done and will also give me the magical progesterone that my body oh so desires and hopefully soon I will get to pee on another stick. This time though I hope to frame that stick rather than stomp on it in another insane infertile rage.
Author: Teresa Belinski is a mother of 5 year old boy/girl twins and loves to talk about anything and everything. If you ever run into her be prepared to talk about your whole life story and also learn about hers. Nothing is sacred. Visit her at www.teresabelinski.blogspot.com aka Keepin’ a Close Watch on This Heart of Mine.
*This post was submitted by a third party as part of a summer educational article series. The comments expressed here in this post are the personal opinions of the original author, and do not necessarily state the views or opinions of Clear Passage Therapies, Inc.
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