By Michelle Galatoire, Fertility Coach & Self Care Mentor
The myriad thoughts we have swirling around in our heads while trying to conceive are stressful. From lab and ultrasound appointments to injections and finances, we have so much to keep track of – all the while hearing that we need to relax! But how? Doing so seems impossible when the tunnel vision of the infertility journey prevents us from being able to connect to our peace, joy or sanity.
It has been estimated that we have 60,000 thoughts a day, that 90 percent of those thoughts are negative – and 90 percent of those are untrue.
So, what does all that mean for your fertility? What impact do all these thoughts have beyond our peace of mind?
Mind-Body scientist and author, Candace Pert (best known for her book Molecules of Emotions) has demonstrated that thoughts and feelings, called “neuropeptides,” have receptor sites all throughout the body. When we experience a negative thought, emotion hormones – the chemical messengers that trigger physiological changes – are automatically released into our bodies. Pert’s research shows how the chemicals inside our bodies form a dynamic information network, linking mind and body – our thoughts and our emotions – to form an intricate mind-body connection. As a result, the thoughts we have about our infertility impact our body. Prolonged periods of heightened emotions such as fear, anxiety and hopelessness can disturb our body’s natural systems, wreaking havoc on our hormonal system. This kind of stress can impact the menstrual cycle, ovulation and our fertility.
How do we quiet the mind and dissolve those stressful thoughts?
One effective strategy is to simply become the observer of your thoughts. Just the conscious awareness that you are not your thoughts is a powerful step. Imagine you are the being having the thoughts – because you are. This creates a ‘cushion,’ softening the impact of your mind’s thoughts on your body. Doing so creates just enough space for you to choose another thought to focus on. You can have some thoughts ready. Write a few down that will bring you more ‘in the now’ present and more peace. For example, “I am well in this moment” or “I am filled with loving kindness”. Any kind of affirmation or mantra that feels good to you. The only stipulation is that these simple statements need to be truth for you. Affirmations will not work in the presence of a false underlying belief.
In addition, your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it needs to be heard when it tries to communicate with you. Once you let the mind know that its message has been received, it can know that its job is done and can take a break from delivering that thought. Here is what the process looks like: you have a stress-inducing thought, you become aware of it (as the observer of your mind) and you say “I hear you. Thank you. I’ve got it.”
Give this technique a try. You will experience more peace in your mind and body, resulting in more balance in your hormonal systems and amore fertile inner environment.